Thanks for your thoughts, but no, the monstrosity is not for a vine, or beans, or a soccer net.
It also needs some buckets - painted with left over house paint
Some good quality compost (with some horse poo in for good measure)
And tomato plants.
Yes - it's an upside-down-tomato-hanger-upper! Dallas has been reading up on this for ages. Upside down tomatoes - no need to stake. He is quite sure that this will be the most wonderful way to grow tomatoes since . . . well, just since! Of course, this has led to more bets with the neighbour . . .
Still not sure why he needed to build the monstrosity. He could have just hung them from hooks on the fence, but who am I to question?